Silver Mask

Why

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 11:28:02 GMT

Why does it affect me like dat?
Each time he tells me I'm the one. I'm the only one for him. I'm the one he's been looking for. I'm the last girl he wants to be with. I breakdown and cry. I am happy.
But each time he says the same thing, it doesn't affect the same way as when he says it. Why?
Have all my feelings been transferred to him? Why do I still hang on when I got him? My prince charming.

Stuff I don't like about him. a lot. stuff that i like about him. i don't know.
stuff i don't like about him. a few but not as much. stuff that i like about him. a lot too.
I would not get into a fight if i was with him but more with the latter. I would be happier with the latter. but now he loves me more right? So why can't i be happy?

Why issit taking a long time for me to realise who i want to be with.

I wish God tells me who I should be with. I wish .. I wish i nv met both at all. I'm in agony and I'm putting them in agony no matter who i choose! and at my wedding day. I will suffer and cry the moment i see the one i could hav married.

414

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 02:01:57 GMT

My return here is a very special reason. It is because my current blog is thoroughly checked by my ex. and also currently I am cheating on my current boyfriend with my ex.
There is but a reason for this. I love them both. I will be happy with either. I will also have family politics with both. I will be loved more no matter who i choose. It is a matter how I want to be loved.
Sha future problems - financial. his family ties.
DD future problems - my family ties and his.
I am not proud of this confession. It is a dirty greedy sin but I cry a lot everyday because I do not know who to choose. I did left my ex for the current one but as they say, you love the one you fell in love with unconditionally. Unconditional love that may lead to your doom and unhappiness in the future.
You may love him but his family may not be in terms with you. This is a battle many ladies take everyday. Pleasing and looking good for others all the time. Can I take that? Looking good for myself. Asking my future kids to behave and look good for me.

Moving

Sat, 12 May 2007 14:35:59 GMT

Dear Readers,

Following my cousin's movement, I have decided to change my blog address too. I feel that site offers more functions and features that are more user friendly and more choices to choose from than here. I'm sorry 7537, I am going to give up on you after 412 episodes. T_T.

My new blog would be more personal. It is a bit wordy though. Have alot of links that I often visit. Don't laugh at the name. I couldn't think of one better than my 7537 since they dun allow numbers only. Haiz.

I'm Here from now on.

412

Thu, 03 May 2007 15:31:16 GMT

today i was seeing stuff

like when i turn into a corner to the toilet
.. i saw something black, small moved away quickly
at the end of corridor

i saw something white, small, cloth, at the bottom of the pillar
moved away when i stepped out of the mrt too

i saw someone walking quickly into the void deck
juz the skin color..i saw.. no memories of color of the clothes..

freakyyy..

even the black cat i called followed me
and disappeared behind me.

211

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 14:07:32 GMT

fatigue accumulation

im fcking tired.

when is the money coming in man....

410

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 23:50:58 GMT

my brother tried to kill me again lah

he got angry at me at a silly thing
and started on a rampage..

he everytime like dat one,
if i dun show fear, he'll be the one showing violence..

he pushed me hard down *almost hit my laptop lcd
and tried to kick me in the stomach

if it werent for my mother
he would hav killed me with 2 kicks.

den started saying how ungrateful i am to my parents
and how he from samseng become teacher
yea ryte.. samseng become teacher
still say stuff like want to stab me with a knife
said after my mum die, i sure will die after her

say he from 6am to 10pm work
wat happened to me?

hello.
i also work ok.
u think u work teacher can anyhow push ppl around ah.
u last time samseng today also samseng lah.
no change.

from last time to now
still got plans to kill me.

wat did YOU do for my parents?
u got learn to cook?
u got massage them?
u got make coffee for them even once or not?
giving them gifts izzint gonna make up for anything ok.
not even getting a good job.

the only thing u can do for them
is to get out of dis house
so dat mum can throw away all your stuff
and make dat room into a prayer room and store room.

my parents only need me.
dats why even if u had kicked me
and i went to hospital
and if the docter say i couldnt bear chidlren
or wat, one of my organs cant work.

u will be the only one who's joyous.
im the happiness of my parents.
killing THEIR flesh and blood
is the doom of your life.

they would nv forgive u.
even if u bear alot of grandchildren.

u bloody bastard.
dis is why i wanted u die faster man.
*refer to blog entry long long ago

so dat my parents will feel at ease.
if u can almost kill your own sister.
i dunno wat u will do to your future wife and kids.

409: the job is fixing my dark circles

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 14:36:49 GMT

i can see it.

its fixing..

slowly but surely.

408: kitty katta!

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 17:26:00 GMT

there's lots of cats at the chinese coffeeshop near the hong kah north cc.
i mean lots. at night.
but all are scarey cats.
haiz. muz be bcoz all the ppl eating there kept shooing them.

but there's dis male cat dat keeps meowing all night
around my block.
for a couple of months back.
finally i met it! like last week.
yesterday too. 3 times at least.

its an all black with a white patch under its neck.
its very mampat! *chubby & fat
its like when u stroke it,
the skin can like.. fold? u can pinch the skin lah!
like babat like dat. *excess fat

den i sort off "massage" the head by stroking it with slight strength
and the eyes curled back like so shiok.
hahahha..

i was walking to the lift lobby
when a super loud male meow called lah.
i was like "whoa" turn around "where izzit??"
den i call back den it came out..

it was so freaky lah.. meowing so deep and loud.
den its smart enuf not to go inside the lift.
so i went up went back down to give it fish,
cannot find sia.

end up giving it to another black cat.
yah. alot of black cats near my block actually.
3 in total.
2 white, 1 black cloudy, 1 greyish white, 1 normal singapura cat at the coffee shop.

hmm.. and there's a tabby singapura kitten hiding out
in the shed of this shophouse on the way
to the malay coffeeshop when u walk pass the fish market.

all scarey cats.
but there's more cats at dazhong primary sch dat side.
LOTS.

*careful ina

but they're hungry lots actually.
i gave them bread and they ate it!

wow, a non fussy cat.
*I WURVE WOUUU..

i mean cats in singapore are choosy.
i've been to saudi arabia.
the cats there are so skinny.
and they even eat curry puff ah.

so sad seeing so many skinny cats there :(

haiz....

407: urgent !

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 15:12:17 GMT

if there izint any transport for ppl living in the north east.
habis ah. my fren dun want to do the job already.
then i'll hav to find someone else.
by wednesday.

possible, can be easily found.
but i really want someone i like to hang out, chill, chat with.
altho strangers are fine with me,
coz i can do my work extra fast,

but... it'll be boring..
tsumaranai jyanai?

haiz...
there's a few other than him..
but they're not dat tech savvy
and the boss doesnt like ppl who are slow.

she want fast fast.
hardworking. doesnt smoke.
shows results in an instant.
80 a day!

ok, backup plan, other than him.
would be........

the malay ladies from poly..
of which haslina!!!
*msg her

oh cik nona, i think i hav found a permanent staff for u!

406: Resisting shopping

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 16:17:46 GMT

its so hard.
when u hav money.
and not to spend it.
T_T

i want to spend!
pls god, give me 5000 dollars!
*prays*

i need sleep sia.
muack muack nyte nyte.

oh doctor s,
about the emo part.

i am very emo inside.
its juz dat i dun show it often.